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In 2007, Elaine La Personerie, a 33-year-old PR maven from Manhattan, answered a Craigslist ad that kicked off an intense year-long elationship.“At first, he made all kinds of excuses for not meeting,” she says.“A woman might feel really smart and attractive when she’s online because she comes up with a lot of witty things to say, she controls the pictures that she sends and she meets a man who does the exact same thing,” says Wallace, author of “The Psychology of the Internet.” “They can have a magical interaction — a meeting of the minds, sort of — whereas meeting in person would just spoil it.He stutters; she burps.” Long-term elationships Incredibly, some virtual relationships last as long as the real thing.“An online relationship is perceived as being lower risk as compared to meeting in person.

La Personerie also discovered that an “ex-fiance” he frequently mentioned was actually another online girlfriend who, just like her, had never laid eyes on the guy.

“I definitely fit into a demographic of someone you would never think could fall victim to this. In some cases, that fantasy relationship can exist for a long time.” The power of a pen pal Even Worick admits she’s had online encounters that have played out like mini-relationships: a bit of flirtation, followed by some miscommunication, followed by a spat, followed by a split.

“With one guy I ‘met’ on Match.com, it was like we were playing out the whole beginning, middle and end of a relationship via text when we’d never even talked on the phone,” she says. Then he’s guilting me out for not being available when he calls. Then he’s back and wants to know if there’s anything new in my personal life.

“They never want to meet, or at least one of them doesn’t want to meet. But it’s not unheard of in the face-to-face world that one party has a longer-time commitment in mind than the other.” What can singles do to separate the relationship wheat from the casually-minded chaff? I also think they should communicate their preferences.

Say, ‘Look, I would prefer not to text during the day but I’m happy to talk on the phone or get together.’ ” Finally, she suggests singles take a long look at their own dating agenda, which can shift over time.

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